Some Definitions!

 

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.



Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Father:
A banker provided by nature.


Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?


Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

And finally


Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually!

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.